Laura recently went to Washington DC for almost a week. For the first few days she was gone, I carried a pointy stick around to keep all the women off of me. Then I thought of an easier way, and grew myself a surefire anti-adultery device. After a while, it grew on me, literally, and I was a little sad to see it go. With a handle bar mustache, you can get away with saying almost anything. No one will mess with that guy. I still have the mullet!